Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
