Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
