Will you blow on my dice?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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