All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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