Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
