I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
