garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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