awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
