her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Panties = found
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
