He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
