why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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