Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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