her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
