yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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