There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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