I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My sheets look like a crime scene.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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