Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
