it hurts more in the daytime
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
