Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
