I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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