Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
