i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
