Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
