turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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