Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
