You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
