We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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