Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
