I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
