I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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