Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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