so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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