I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
