Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
