taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
