My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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