That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I touched a dick in church today
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
