Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
