for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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