wrigley field is MILF paradise
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the day after is always just damage control
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
