I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
