How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
