Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
