Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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