he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
