Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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