Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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