Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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