do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
