piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
