yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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