Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
