You work out of a Hotel?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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